All car owners have encountered UK service stations at some point, and no doubt everybody has a story or two to tell about the experience.
Or rather, they probably haven't. Stopping off at one of these places is one of the most singularly unremarkable experiences you will never have to recount.
If you try to recommend a service station, if you have the time to recommend a service station then perhaps you really need to ask some hard questions of yourself.
Service stations are the last refuge for hard-working reps and families on the rove, but they always seem a necessary evil rather than a genuine pleasure.
This must be tied to the sense you get on leaving these places, a sense of having been robbed. A recent study by travelsupermarket.com found that prices in service stations are nearly double what you'd expect to pay in supermarkets, a fact tolerated by consumers who have nowhere else to go.
A simple and unhealthy meal of sandwiches, crisps and chocolate for a family of four will set you back almost £30 in stations nationwide.
So the next question must be framed by the information above. Which are the best and worst of UK service stations?
Tebay in southern Cumbria is always rated very highly. Run by farmers rather than the standard big UK providers, Tebay has a farm shop and stocks local produce. Set in picturesque moorland surroundings, Tebay offers a brief glimpse of the alternative.
And the worst? Cullompten is at the opposite end of the spectrum.
Although not one of the rest areas with a social networking page dedicated to its abuse, Cullompten recently suffered at the hands of Which?, putting it bottom of the UK service station league.
Defending Cullompten, managing director Mr Long confessed:
"We clearly have had a problem with the toilets. But I understand Which? only made one visit in August, so it was unfortunate that they caught the site on a very busy day.
"The company strongly feels that two visits to a site does not reflect the standards achieved by this MSA [motorway service area] on an ongoing basis.
"In particular, one of the visits coincided with the presence of a very large number of over-excited football fans."
Sounds idyllic.. Perhaps the picnic and creative use of an OS map are a better and more restful alternative.
@ buyacar.co.uk